Anger Without Hate

Whiskey-Tango-Foxtrot!?!

I have never inspired someone to treat me better by treating them worse.

I have never motivated a person’s love by hating them.

I have never earned respect by being disrespectful.

I have never brightened a person’s day by spewing darkness.

Nor do I know anyone who has achieved any good by becoming that which is evil.

Anger Is Not Wrong

Be angry, and do not sin. Meditate within your heart on your bed, and be still. Psalm 4: 4 (NKJV)

Love and anger are intimately linked and are the most powerful of human emotions. Of the two emotions, love is unquestionably more highly sought after. Nevertheless, when effectively applied, anger carries the potential to alter the course of civilization.  The following are a few examples where anger has lead to a better world:

• The United States and its allies stopped Hitler and his allies.
• Gandhi and his followers pioneered the use of nonviolent civil disobedience to fight for civil rights and freedom.
• Martin Luther King and his followers were able to advance the rights of African Americans employing peaceful measures, engaging in nonviolent civil disobedience.
• Suffragettes successfully lobbied to increase women’s rights in Britain and the United States.

However, when inappropriately managed, anger jeopardizes the very fabric of society. Ill-managed anger played a powerful role in Hitler’s, Stalin’s, and Mao’s ability to convince millions of people to embrace monstrous behaviors that defy the most basic of human logic. Likewise, the strength of marriage, the health of families, and the futures of our children are threatened by our inability to manage anger effectively.

Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that. Martin Luther King Jr

Anger is a natural and necessary emotion. As explained by Dr. Les Carter, “Anger can be defined as ‘the emotion of self-preservation.’ Angry people wish to preserve personal worth, perceived needs, and heartfelt convictions.”  Countries at war seek to secure their borders. Similarly, angry people aim to protect their personal convictions and boundaries.

All people feel they are significant. We believe we matter and have value, and thus become frustrated in situations where others will not treat us in a manner consistent with our perceived self-worth. However, when angered, many of us respond so distastefully that the target of our anger cannot possibly appreciate either our message or our worth! In other words, it is not anger itself but our response to anger that is the problem. We are not defined by our mistakes, but by how we recover; likewise, we need not be defined by anger but by how we respond.

The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy. Martin Luther King Jr.

Do you know where you stand in times of challenge and controversy? Do others know? Do you act with courage to stand for your convictions and with consideration for the convictions of others? Are you satisfied with your anger management, or do you have the room and desire to improve?

Our world is quaking in the wake of hatred. Killing each other is not the solution. Civil disobedience is not the solution. Evil will not drive out evil, only good can do that.

Adapted From: Haden, James M.. VerAegis-Spirit: Live beyond Your Comfort Zone (The Legacy Series Book 3) (pp. 187-188). Kindle Edition.