Most Managers Are Uncomfortable Communicating with Employees

Toni Is Not Alone.

No, most managers are uncomfortable communicating with employees.

“And they fear giving feedback.”

Toni paused and stared intently at George as he walked into the conference room for her staff meeting…fifteen minutes late for the third consecutive meeting. The other staff members turned and briefly watched  as George shuffled in, then all eyes were on Toni. She felt like verbally ripping him apart for disregarding the meeting guidelines, but she knew that would not benefit anyone. Toni feared, however, that if she did not act now, she would not act at all. Her brow furrowed as she continued the discussion as though the interruption had never happened.

Toni Has a Problem

Will Toni address the issue or let the problem fester. She does not understand what is going on with George. He never used to be late, and on the rare occasion that he was, he texted her in advance. Toni continued her meeting, but she was not comfortable with the situation that George had created, and now she had to fix.

According to a recent Harvard Business Review Article, over two-thirds of managers are uncomfortable communicating with employees.

“A new Interact survey conducted online by Harris Poll with 2,058 U.S. adults — 1,120 of them were employed, and 616 of the employed people were managers — showed that a stunning majority (69%) of the managers said that they’re often uncomfortable communicating with employees. Over a third (37%) of the managers said that they’re uncomfortable having to give direct feedback about their employees’ performance if they think the employee might respond negatively to the feedback.”

We Have a Conundrum

Here’s the conundrum: Our success (and a manager’s success) is dependent upon relationships. Relationships are dependent upon understanding, which is dependent upon communication. One cannot enjoy effective relationships if they do not communicate effectively. Communicating effectively means during good times and bad. Further, most people thrive on feedback, even negative feedback when effectively communicated. It is okay to feel uncomfortable when interacting, but it is not acceptable to let our discomfort get in the way of our effectiveness. In other words, as a manager, we must learn to operate outside our comfort zones and to counter our fears and discomforts with courage and confidence. As a manager, we must:

1. Listen with the intent to understand rather than to reply.
2. Reflect our understanding. What feelings and meaning did the employee just communicate? Restate their message in our words remaining confident that understanding does not mean agreeing.
3. Once understood, the employee is more likely to listen. Now, we must considerately communicate our needs, the company’s needs, and the needs of your team.  Where does the employee meet the needs and where does he or she fall short? Be direct. Be considerate.
4. Create a vision of the future. How do you see this person improving, the team improving, and subsequently the company improving? Communicate your desires and aspirations.

Live beyond Your Comfort Zone

Toni, waved to George as he got up to leave the meeting. He looked uneasy but stayed behind as the others shuffled out. She asked George if he had a moment to talk or if he would like to schedule fifteen minutes for later that afternoon. He reluctantly agreed that ‘now’ was good. He braced for her wrath, but it didn’t come. Toni waited for George to sit down then asked, “How are you doing?” She genuinely looked concerned, “It seems like something is wrong…and you are not comfortable sharing…”  George relaxed—just a bit—as he began to explain…

Sources: Two-Thirds of Managers Are Uncomfortable Communicating with Employees, VerAegis Relationships, VerAegis Contribution